Survival Of the Fittest

Posted: May 6, 2012 in cookies
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Hello Everyone! I know i have not been around for a while, been working on another project. Today i woke up with a psychological epiphany. Specifically, the difficulty in finding your soul mate as my Girlfriend clearly states. What does it mean to find your soul mate?


Soul mates are one of those things that are near impossible to find. It comes to you at your life’s busiest moments and does not clearly present itself to you. Its one of those things that a person must pay attention to, if they want to survive. What do I mean about survival? If we go back to the basics and consider us just another animal species, we must survive and continue to reproduce for our species and genes to survive. If we fail to find our soul mates, or just another person thats willing to tolerate us and live with us, we are destine for doom. To contradict myself, not just a person to tolerate us, because if a child lives in a family of fighting, they will not develop normally and the gene would be that much harder to preserve.

Lets start off by addressing the different stages of your life. Not going to go too deep into it, but lets start from 18 years old. When you are 18 years old, you are innocent and unknowing. From a male perspective, we are confused looking for a girl to have sexual relations with. Most of the time we are not successful because the females see this as just a booty call. On the other hand, for the females, they are wildly searching for the prince to set them free. Through trial and error most individuals develop from this stage, and move on the stage 2.

Stage 2 usually starts off at age 21. This age can be considered the party, let loose and wild phase. This is when young adults are at the age to drink in the United States. So many do just that, experiment with their bodies and different people. This is the most important phase out of the four. This is when you are developed enough to find your mate, and yet inexperienced to really be picky. 21 – 24 is the best age to find yourself the ultimate “soul mate”. If the person fails to find someone to stand by themselves and grow with them, then they are simply doomed. Doomed phase starts at stage 3.

Stage 3 is where things start to get tricky. Man or a women, tends to start to get worried after 25 when they did not find someone thats serious and whats to be with them. For men its a few years later, but for the sake of argument, lets consider both men and women are equally developed at this point. These desperate indivduals, go out to many blind dates and look for people with all sorts of personalities, to find someone that might fit. Most of the time its very hard because 25- 28 you have gone through a good amount of people to realize whats good and whats not. This is the tricky stage because you either settle with someone just to settle and not be alone, or you are left alone for the rest of your life. Its difficult to find someone serious after 28 years old, especially after what you have known, experienced, and obviously observer ed.

Stage 4 is when the gloomy days start to occur. After not committing to something serious, you start to give up and keep the mind occupied with other things. Then opportunities come, and yet you are already unavailable emotionally to give in. Its like those “too good to be true deals”.

In conclusion,  once a person has left stage 2 it slowly gets harder and harder to find someone. If you fail to find someone the chances of a successful relationship gets smaller and smaller. If you cannot find someone to love you and care for you, the reproduction of your genes would develop in a cruel world with no love. Opportunities come and go, open your  eyes and see it and take it, because once it slips it wont ever come back. The fittest survive and find their mate, and the weaker ones fail.


  1. Hmm, just a thought: it’s possible that dwelling on not having a partner is what makes it worse. I know so many people who think their life is just not worth living without a mate, but I don’t think that’s true, not unless that’s what you believe. In other words, if you believe you are doomed to never finding anyone, and that life is awful without someone, you will be right. It’s the constant dwelling on being alone that drives people away because they can sense a person’s desperation and depression, which is not appealing at all.

    I know of some people who were perfectly happy single, well into their fifties and then found themselves just the right partner. And they were happier for it, I think. They didn’t dwell. They focused on themselves instead of “why don’t I have a partner.”

    • I understand that it can possible workout and even workout for the better if you meet at a later age. However, consider this, the more you know in life the more picky you are. A good example can be, if you once worked for a call center, chances are you would not go back because you know the conditions it comes with for working in that environment. Same applies to finding your partner. The longer it takes you to find your soulmate, the harder your choice is going to be.

      Sent from my iPhone

      • Well, I think being picky is a good thing. It allows you to choose more carefully. People really rush into relationships because they’re terrified of being alone, which is not a sign of good mental health. If a person can’t live alone and enjoy their own company, they won’t make the best partners. To be alone is to truly know thyself.

        Don’t believe in soul mates. I used to. I’ve had too much therapy and skills training to believe that anymore, plus I am studying to be a therapist. Soul mates are the stuff of fairy tales, not reality. There are thousands of good matches.

        My son is almost 25 and ready to buy a house. He has a good job, makes a good living. He finally got over his obsession with finding a soul mate and is now really living. I am proud of him. He will find himself by being alone, really come to know himself, and then he will make a better partner to a woman when he finds someone with whom he is very compatible.

      • You do make sense for the most part, but have you heard of the women with the many cats? I too am studying to be a therapist, more like counciling and i find, at least my surrounding, people fail to commit after a certain period of time. The correct age of discovery and discovering who you are as a person starts after your 18th birthday and grows into the experimental age from 21-25. I believe your son has left his experimental age and is either giving up on the idea of finding someone worthwhile to spend the rest of his life with or simply taking a break. Also, you mention he is slowly getti g ready to purchase a house. That shows signs he is ready to commit but cant find someone serious, so he is choosing a material (house) over a person.

        Suggestion: trend carefully.. Ask plenty of questions and try to study how Nd why he does the things he does. This in turn, will help analyze the emotions we cant visually see.

        As for picky being a good thing, think about it from this perspective. Opportunities come and go, its your logic and passed experience that determine to either take it or not. If you started dating at 18 years old, the chances are at 25 you are either settled or disappointed from women. Of you are still in a relation at 25 then u should consider committing, because the next one will have the similar negativities if not more.

        Just my two cents Sent from my iPhone

  2. I don’t know how old you are or where you’re studying, but I will be honest and say that none of what you are saying makes any sense to me. Why must a person be in a relationship? The fact that people think they have to be in one is not healthy at all. Some people like to spend their entire lives alone, virgins even. There is nothing wrong with that.

    • Let me tell you a little about myself. I am a student at California State university of Northridge, and focus on marriage and counseling. I am near completion of my course study. I do not want to impose my ideas out and on to you, so please do not understand it that way. My purpose was to have a meaning for discussion at most.

      The things that i speak of, is considered true for most. Most people, do not like to be alone. Its human nature to connect with something. From dogs to cats, to family and kids and friends etc.. Thus, we are all striving to find some sort of connection.

      People do not need to be in a relationship, they just want it deep inside. The people that choose not to be with anyone are not wrong. They are different, so they belong to a different group. If their is not a higher reason why you want to be alone (God, medical condition, etc) then you tend to want to have some sort of companionship. Thats all i suggesting. I just classified it in four stages.

      • It’s just not healthy to not be able to be alone. Yes, most people want companionship, but it should never be forced and CAN lead to partnering up in a bad way. (my son, he is fine alone, and needs it that way for now)

        I am not trying to insult you, but please be careful. Your opinions on this scare me. I am afraid they may damage people.

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